1st Day

day number 1 at RuH. It's nice and slack, and the people are quirky and pretty chill. My job is easy and will be a perfect part-time job. I don't know if I could handle it for 8 hours, but 4 will be good i think. Brian is my boss. He's about 50, obese. but fairly witty and pretty cool. I'll post more when stuff starts to happen.

So for some reason, Cassie just won't get out of my head. She was in my dream last night. I haven't talked to her in over a week, and she dumped me over a month ago, but a lot of the time i have so much anger about her. I just want answers, it doesn't make any sense to me, there appears to be no logic involved. and it's driving insane. Why can't people make sense? or more importantly, why can't they at least make sense to them self? Even if it's a bullshit reason, I, at least, want A reason. So far none.

If she asked for forgiveness and wanted me back. Would I take her? %100. I think I could hold myself off and start over and slower. But I have never felt as amazing as i did with her next to me. I hate it because it's not fair, why did I have to lose that feeling? I just want to know why. Why did this all happen? Why can't I win?

Of everything on this planet. Finding that "person" has always been the most important to me, I've always tried so hard, to search, to know what I want, to be someone that other's would want. What am I doing wrong?