ugh

Weekends, what fun! (FUUUUCCCCKKKK).... I hate all this bullshit. I hate the lies, i hate the fake smiles, i hate the free time, i hate the thoughts i have, i hate so much. Mostly i just hate that I'm not happy. And when that happens, you hate everything else, because it doesn't matter to me. I have no purpose ATM, i want to help people, but no one wants my help, i want to be helped my people, but no one wants to help me. Time is getting killed without any reason. I run through the motions of life, without living.

I'm freaking useless, and i hate it. Life is about love, as of right now, No one wants my love or wants to give me love. and I don't mean romance. I need a reason to keep doing this shit. unfortunately, i dont have a reason, but im just going to keep doing it. Don't ask me why, (No one will read this anyways so what am i worried? lol). but it kills me on the inside. THIS ISN'T FUCKING FAIR!!!

I know it isn't. I knew it wasn't going to be. I said I'd take it anyway. and fuck me sideways, cuz i will. I'll just hate every second of it. (FUCK) [I wish there was a stronger way to communicate suffering]

I have this dream, where I'm bleeding.
We're in your car, I start to panic.
Waves are crashing. Over head, stars are shining.
You left me for dead. Down by the shore.