Rumored Nights

I've been listening to a lot of music while I write my plethora of papers, specifically the the softer and more relaxed songs that don't interrupt my thoughts but help the time pass. So I'm writing about just world beliefs and the damage they cause how we relate to others and society, but the paradoxical quality of them because they are necessary to maintain an internal locus of control which is related to mental health and efficacy. Basically damned if you, damned if you don't.

Anyways, so a song came on that I have heard many times but I guess I never payed a lot of attention to the themes of the song because all of a sudden it grabbed my attention and I realized it expressed a lot of ideas that I believe but have trouble putting into words sometimes.

Believe me -Seabird

I try to keep up, I swear that I do.
But every time I look up I lose site of you.
I never wanted to be the way that I am,
But it's not my fault, it's just my circumstance.

Chorus
Believe me, believe me when I say,
I never wanted it this way. Believe me when I say,
I always tried to do my best. I gotta get this off my chest.

I wanted to be just where you are
Cause you're a beacon of light that awakens the stars.
I see you holding a fire, deep in your heart,
I know I'm not the one but I'll play the part.

Chorus

Someday soon, I'll be alright again.
I pray you've not forgot. Someday you will see the light again,
And find all that you've lost.

Chorus

Especially if you listen to song itself the mood of the song is very somber but hopeful. I really like the idea of regretting actions and their consequences but knowing that the decisions are necessary. Likewise with the psychological paradox about just world beliefs. It's the idea that sometimes we don't like who we are or what we do, but we still have to be that person or do that action. We don't want what's happening but we don't get to make that decision, only what to do next.

Someday soon we'll be alright again.