101 Dalmations

So this is the One hundred and first post, which I didn't realize last post. I guess that is in itself a cause to celebrate. I am surprised and happy that it has endured this long, but this is not the cause for my writing now.

I started dating lindsay a little more than a week ago (common knowledge) and it's going great. However, we were talking about our past shittiness and she felt that I had too many painful experiences with women. Not that I was super messed up or anything, just surprised at the volume. We kept talking and we (or I) came to the conclusion that I give everyone the benefit of the doubt at a detriment to my own emotional state. She was surprised by my vulnerability and said that, essentially, I had gotten hurt through my own choices and attitudes, that I should have adapted to prevent them.

She's right, but I like to pretend that this is caused by my unwavering commitment to providing everyone with the benefit of the doubt. This is probably not true, but it's what I tell myself, so it is true to me. I know it has shaped who I am today, for good or for bad. I do not regret my decisions, I am only trying to understand them, peace.

edit: 101st draft. not actually post. Woops.