Mroz's bday

So we went out to James' then to Winston's for Matt's 21st. Josh and Megan came down for the weekend and its nice to see them. For no particular reason I just wasn't feeling into hanging out in Winston's. Either go to a bar and actually party, or stay in James' and hangout and talk, going somewhere just to pay more and make it inconvenient to get home doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I guess more people showed up that wouldn't have come to James', so it makes sense, I just wouldn't have done it.

I was about to walk home just before 10 but they noticed me leaving and offered to give me a ride, which I couldn't refuse. I don't seem to enjoy large table discussions unless I'm in a good mood. When I'm feeling crappy I prefer a 1 or 2 people to talk to instead. So I caught a ride home with the first driver, Britt, which turned out better than expected.

I did a lot of talking and I was happy to have a listener for the first time in a while. And, despite the conversation not breaking through any problems, she reminded me that some questions don't have answers, and expecting or wanting them is futile. If I can manage to control my thoughts a little more I hopefully I can solve the sleeping problem.

I guess the biggest take-away was to not let my first thoughts and instincts to control anything, because mine are self-defeating. I have a choice how I react but I was allowing myself to float along.

Hopefully I take these reminders seriously and that they stick, unlike the last time I learned them.